Emotional Healing for Financial Overspending

Just recently you took on a new job. So you’re making almost twice as much as your last job.  That’s really exciting.

BUT you found yourself splurging all of this money. That put you into financial debt really quickly. And it wasn’t just financial debt. You found yourself in what I would call EMOTIONAL financial debt.

Hi, this is Patrick Rodriguez. And you’re listening to the Patrick Rodriguez Show.

This is the place to learn pragmatic tools and methods for healing your own Inner Child.

Today we’ll be listening to an actual client session.  This was the first of six sessions to help this young man with his financial overspending.

At the start of this session he describes how he had just been promoted into a new job position. He’s now earning almost twice the amount that he had been earning just six months prior.  But he now finds himself deeply in debt and relying on credit cards and short-term loans at high interest rates.

Please note that the following recording is from an actual client session and is being replayed here with permission. This recording deals with some adult themes and may trigger some listeners.

Let’s listen in to see how healing the underlying emotional energy has a very pragmatic outcome in his financial life.

Patrick: So, one of the first things that we do when we start our sessions is to do a before-and-after test. The purpose here is to find out, “Are we making progress? Are we headed in the right direction?”

I’m going to ask you to reflect and give yourself permission to touch upon the financial decisions that you’ve made, like the short-term loans and like the car that you recently purchased.

Now, I’m going to say a statement and ask you to tell me, on a scale of zero to ten, with zero being absolutely no resonance or, “I don’t relate to that at all,” and ten being, “Yeah, that completely feels like me, I’m with it one hundred percent.” Are you ready?

Patrick: I have emotional freedom in my financial decisions.

Patrick: Terrific. That’s our starting place, isn’t that cool?

---

Patrick: Okay, so what I want you to do right now is to talk about finances and then we’ll jump right into it. So, tell me what your feelings are about finances.

Patrick: Terrific. So, one of the first things that I’m getting from you is, a cloudy head. Your head immediately goes cloudy. Can you feel that?

Patrick: It’s almost . . . what I’m feeling from you is what I would equate to having a sinus headache almost. Like when your sinuses are really clogged up and then your head starts to feel really cloudy or foggy. Does that resonate for you?

Patrick: Terrific. So, what I am going to ask you to do is just focus on that feeling. Now where I’m feeling it is on the upper part of the nose and under your eyes. Tell me if that resonates for you.

Patrick: Cool, so just feel the feelings there. No good, no bad. No right, no wrong. It’s just there. That’s it, period. No good, no bad. No right, no wrong. It’s just there. Now it feels like it’s trying to shift around to, like, your forehead. Now it feels like it’s dissipating. Tell me if that resonates.

Patrick: Let’s recognize it and give it permission to be there. Kind of like a shared roommate experience. I’m not saying that you like it, but the roommate is there, and this is what you signed up for . . .. Oooh, that seemed to be even more intense. Good, good, good, good. So, I’m guessing that a lot of hidden stuff is coming up for you.

Patrick: The kind of stuff that you didn’t want to know was there is coming up, is what I’m sensing. Is that about right?

Patrick: Good. Just give it permission to be there. The shared roommate experience. It’s there. Now give it permission to be there. Let go of the fear of seeing that it’s there. Let go of the fear of knowing that it’s there.

I’m getting a sense of fear of knowing . . . more than “I’m afraid of it,” it’s “I’m afraid of knowing it’s there.” Does that make sense?

Patrick: What I want you to do is, I want you to give yourself permission to feel safe to feel afraid. Give yourself permission to feel SAFE to feel afraid. Good, good, good, good. Now there’s that pressure/sensation around the heart area—almost like a little bit of a pain. Does that resonate for you?

Patrick: One of the things that you mentioned was that you were hospitalized several months ago and the tests came back that there was no heart problem; there was nothing definitive, and one of the things I suggested was that this could all be stress-related. I would imagine what you’re feeling right now is similar to what you felt then. Does that feel about right?

Patrick: So I’m going to ask you—and this is really scary now, because you have the fear of whatever’s happening, plus the physical fear of, “Oh my god, what if it happens again”, right?

Patrick: Just allow you to feel afraid. ‘Cuz that fear’s there anyway; it’s already there. The fear is already there. We’re going to give you permission to feel safe to feel afraid. Feel SAFE to feel afraid. I want YOU to give YOU permission to feel safe to feel afraid. Good. I’m feeling your body relax; like your entire body starts to feel . . . SAFE . . . if you will. It’s what I’m feeling.

Patrick: Okay, I don’t feel any sensation in the back of the head or just minimal at the top of the head. Does that resonate for you?

Patrick: Good. Now let’s go back to feeling finances. Think of your recent financial decisions . . . your recent financial decisions. What is a decision that you’ve recently made that has the most energy behind it?

Patrick: Okay, I’m going to pause you right there and I’m going to ask you to give yourself the permission to feel the guilt, and more importantly, the shame . . . ooh, that’s a big one, to feel the shame.

I feel a knotting up in your stomach with that one. Give yourself permission to feel the shame. Because when you say “I spent $1,500 in one night,” that $1,500 that you spent wasn’t taking care of your sick grandmother, was it?

Patrick: And what was the $1,500 used for? Good. Feel that shame? That just sent you down a tunnel of shame. Do you feel that?

Patrick: Excellent, excellent. That’s what we want to get to. FEEL that.

Patrick: Yeah . . .

Patrick: Hold on, hold on a second please. Before you say it, I want you to notice how much trouble you are having in saying it. As if the words cannot leave your mouth. Do you feel that?

Patrick: Good. So focus in on your stomach area, because, oh my god, I’m feeling like it’s just knotting up like crazy. Do you feel that?

Patrick: Give yourself permission to feel the physical sensations. The stomach . . . what I’m feeling from you is: I just want to hold my stomach and bend over. Like I ate a bad burrito, oh my god.

Patrick: Good. Good, good, good. Yeah, I’m feeling the tightness in the chest, but what is most intense for me is this bad-burrito feeling in the stomach. It’s really strong.

Just give yourself permission to feel what you feel. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. It’s safe to feel what you feel. It’s SAFE to feel what you feel. Good.

Now . . . it’s SAFE to know what you know. Oooh, that one’s pretty intense.

One more time . . . it’s safe to know what you know.

It’s there . . . it’s there. And you just want to run from it. You want to escape from that feeling. You want to escape from that knowing. You don’t want to know what you know. And right now, we want to make it safe to NOT want to know what I know.

I don’t want to know what I know.

I don’t want to know what I know.

I DO NOT want to know what I know.

She doesn’t love me. . . . Does that resonate?

Patrick: Good. Let’s say it out loud. She . . . doesn’t . . . love . . . me.

Patrick: Ohhhh.

Let it be there, let it be there. You’re trying to close the door. Do you see that? You’re trying to shove it back in the box.

Let it be there, let it be there . . . let it be there.

One more time: She . . . doesn’t . . . love . . . me.

Patrick: Now it’s okay to feel like you want to throw up. It’s okay. It’s okay to feel like you just want to throw up. Because I’m imagining that right now you’re probably thinking, “What did I eat for breakfast?”

Patrick: Allow it to be there. Give it permission to be there.

Ohhh, now your head’s getting into play. Feeling the head fogginess wanting to come back.

Patrick: We want to get that going, too. Allow that to be there. Allow the neck pain to be there. We don’t want to keep shoving this in the box. Does that make sense?

Patrick: Allow it to be there. Give it permission to be there.

You’re doing great. You’re doing great.

Okay, right in the solar plexus is where I’m feeling it now. I’m feeling like it’s lowering in intensity, but you’re starting to feel it in different areas. Does that make sense? But first of all, does that resonate for you?

Patrick: Good. Uncomfortable? Wow, I would use much stronger words. But, okay.

Patrick: Good, good. I want to make sure I’m on the same page as you. The feeling that I’m getting from the solar plexus is a lot of internal pain, but the emotional feeling is: “I’m powerless.” Almost like I can’t hold up my physical body. Your solar plexus and the muscles surrounding it are the muscles that allow you to bend over or to have a straight back, and it’s almost like I’m feeling powerless when I tune in to those feelings. It’s really hard to stand up straight or sit up straight. Does that resonate for you?

Patrick: Good. What I’d like you to do is focus on feeling powerless. Ooh, wow. This is taking us straight back to childhood. Do you feel that?

Patrick: Good, good, good, good, good.

Okay, getting that foggy head again. Let’s give that permission to be there. And it just cleared up, too . . . bummer.

[Both laughing.]

Just allow that foggy-head feeling to be there. Good. Give yourself permission to feel powerless. Give yourself permission to feel powerless.

I get this feeling from you that part of you wants to scream, “I’m not a kid anymore, I’m not a kid anymore!” Does that resonate for you?

Patrick: Good. I want you to give yourself permission to FEEL that energy. Now, say it out loud: “I’m not a kid anymore.”

Patrick: Noooo . . . I’M NOT A KID ANYMORE.

Patrick: That’s right, that’s right. Allow it to come up, so that it can come out.

I’M NOT A KID ANYMORE.

Patrick: . . . mom. Ohhh, there you go . . . that’s a big one. Whoa, wow, awesome. Awesome, awesome, awesome. That was huge. Did you feel that?

Patrick: I just feel like that went through your entire soul right now. Wow. Nice. Good job, good job. Wow, I feel like you’re able to sit up straight now. Does that resonate for you?

Patrick: Say it again. I’m not a kid anymore, mom.

Patrick: Good . . . good, good, good, good. Now, there’s a part of you that’s telling you, you’re not allowed to say that. You’re not allowed to yell at your mother. You’re not allowed to contradict your mother. Do you feel that?

Patrick: Tell me if you’re with me. Because this is all about what YOU feel. What I feel is, well . . . I’m just a mirror. If you don’t feel it, then we need to change it a little bit. So you tell me, do you feel this?

Patrick: Good. Now give yourself permission to BE the discipline that doesn’t allow you to talk back to your mother. Because that part of you is set up just to keep you safe. Because I’m guessing, when you talk back to your mother—as a child, things didn’t turn out so great for you.

Patrick: You with me on that? Yeah . . .

Patrick: That part of you just wants to keep you safe. “Hey, don’t talk back to mom. You’re not allowed to do that.”

Just honor that part of you. Because we want to let that part of you know, we’re not talking back to mom, we’re actually just talking to that part of us that still holds those feelings in.

We want those feelings to come UP so that they can come OUT. We’re not talking back to mom; we’re talking back to ourselves—and that should be okay. I feel like a part of you is saying, “Oh, well, if I’m just talking back to myself, then I guess that’s okay.”

Tell me if that resonates for you. I know that sounds kind of crazy, but we’re all a little crazy.

Patrick: Good, good, good, good.

One more time. I’m not a kid anymore, mom.

Patrick: Yeah. What’s cool about that one is that it didn’t feel like you HAD to yell it.

Patrick: Does that resonate?

Patrick: Good, good, good. Now, tell me, how does it feel to sit up straight, if you’re able to.

Patrick: Terrific. Now let’s take a step backwards: “She doesn’t love me anymore.” What’s her name?

Patrick: Grace doesn’t love me.

Patrick: Okay. A little bit of a foggy head, there. That’s what I’m feeling. Does that feel right?

Patrick: Okay, so let’s give yourself permission to have a foggy head. Little bit of a neck pain. Almost like . . . it’s funny, the feeling this time on the neck is, it almost feels like the neck can’t support the head. Does that sound right? Does that resonate?

Patrick: Yeah. Let’s give yourself permission to have . . . I don’t want to call it a headache, because I don’t believe it’s really a headache . . . it’s brain fog . . .

Patrick: Yeah. So, it’s interesting, because this keeps coming up. So, it would seem, and I’m just going to make a guess here, it seems that it’s a protection mechanism. When something hurts, rather than feel the pain, let’s put a blanket over it. Let’s put a blanket over the head. Let’s bring in the brain fog.

[Both laughing.]

So, let’s call this a PROTECTION. There’s a part of you that’s trying to protect you, so that you don’t have to FEEL the pain. Now, let’s just say “thank you” to the brain fog. “I get that you’re trying to protect me. I’m with it.”

Patrick: Yeah. Wow. I just felt an almost instant lift. Tell me if that resonates for you.

Patrick: Give it a second, because I’m thinking that you’re going to . . . it’s going to shift. But again, this is all about you. If you would, please, take your head off the wall.

Patrick: And just focus on it; allow it to be there. And tell me if it’s still there.

Patrick: Hmmm. That’s kind of interesting. Give it permission to be there. Let’s recognize it as a protection mechanism. I don’t want to feel the pain, so the protection is the brain fog. I don’t want to have to face reality. And it’s not, “I don’t want to face reality,” it’s “I don’t want to face THIS reality.”

Oh, now I’m feeling it again . . . interesting. So, give appreciation to it. Just send it appreciation . . . “Thank you.”

Patrick: Cool. Okay, once again, “Grace doesn’t love me.” And I get an add-on of “anymore,” for some reason, which is interesting, so I’ll ask you, does it feel like she loved you at one time?

Patrick: Okay, let me write that down. Because the first time, it was: “She doesn’t love me,” but now it’s seems to have shifted to: “Grace doesn’t love me anymore.”

Oh, that’s interesting. So what that tells us is you were in a funk of, “Oh my god, she doesn’t love me, she doesn’t love me,” but you released enough in this little short period of time to recognize, “Oh, she used to love me.” Does that make sense?

Patrick: That’s cool. We’re letting stuff go . . . we’re letting stuff go. Grace doesn’t love me anymore. Get in touch with it. Grace doesn’t love me anymore.

Patrick: Good. I’m getting the feeling of nausea. Allow that feeling to come up. Ughh. Grace doesn’t love me anymore.

Patrick: But I still love her.

Patrick: Now, this is crazy. Because what I’m feeling is, I’m not feeling love coming from you, but I do feel ownership. Now, men in our society, we are trained to think of women as property.

That sounds like a CRAZY statement, but it’s one that’s historical. Historically, women were considered property. Now, even though it’s not socially acceptable to think of women as property, the energy and the feelings have continued to be passed down generationally. Does that make sense?

Patrick: So, I’m going to have you try this on for size. Just imagine her as property and you don’t own her anymore, and we’re going to do a comparison of feelings. Just say: “I lost my property.”

Patrick: Now, what’s crazy is, I imagine the feelings feel very similar. Tell me if that resonates.

Patrick: Crazy, crazy, crazy . . . right?

Patrick: Now this is fantastic, because I KNOW that you don’t want to think of her as property. I know you don’t. And I know that most men would not want to think of themselves this way.

But when you recognize this, it is nothing other than energy, and I know that consciously you don’t think of her this way. I know that consciously, you don’t think of women this way.

Most men would not want to THINK that “I think of women as property.” They don’t want to think of themselves this way . . . I know YOU don’t want to think, “I think of Grace as property.” And consciously I know that you don’t.

Consciously, most men don’t think of women this way. Energetically, this has been passed down to us. And so, it’s important to realize this is not a conscious thought, but it is energy, and that’s what we want to release. Does that make sense?

Patrick: Good. So, once again, just feel and say, “I lost my property.”

Patrick: Ooohh; aaghh. Good, good, good, good, good. I mean, it’s the very same nauseating feeling. But, it’s easier to let go of, is what I’m feeling. Does that resonate?

Patrick: Excellent, excellent, excellent. Man, I feel like you’ve just taken a big drink of water from a stream, because it’s feeling like energy is just flowing. Tell me if that resonates for you.

Patrick: Awesome. Okay, so let’s go backwards: “Grace doesn’t love me anymore.”

Patrick: I’m getting almost no sense of resonating with that emotionally—how about you?

Patrick: Isn’t that cool?

Patrick: Awesome, awesome, awesome. All right, let’s go back to you hanging out with your friend, and I’ll just ask you straight up, because I want you to remember just whatever it was, maybe just ten minutes ago you were not able to get the words out, when I asked you, “Oh, what did you do that you spent this $1,500 in one night?” The words wouldn’t even come out. So, let me ask you again, “What did you do when you spent the $1,500 that night?”

Patrick: I’m laughing because it’s so funny, so nonchalant. The way that you said it was just so “Eh, I went to a movie, I went to a strip club . . .,” and there was no emotion there whatsoever. How cool is that?

Patrick: Yeah, it’s not something that you want to do every weekend because, you know, there go the finances . . .

But, you did it and it’s an experience.

Patrick: And even more, is—I imagine, you won’t find yourself doing it again for the purpose of running away from the pain.

Patrick: And like I said at the beginning of the session, we’re not judging right or wrong, we’re not judging good or bad, this is what happened, and that’s it.

Patrick: Awesome, awesome, awesome. Yeah, running away from the pain is the thing that we really want to see.

Okay, give me a second. I just want to feel what we feel . . .. Take a deep breath, if you would, please.

Wow, that feels like it’s going in and out a lot more freely. Tell me if that resonates.

Patrick: It’s like you can breathe easier.

Patrick: Okay, we’re going to take a step backwards. I want you to tell me on a scale of zero to ten, how much you resonate with the statement I’m going to make; zero being nothing—absolutely no resonance, and ten being “Oh yeah, that’s me.” Ready?

Patrick: I have emotional freedom in my financial decisions.

Patrick: Yeah, that’s pretty awesome, right?

Patrick: You went from zero to four in under an hour.

Congratulations! How do you feel?

Patrick: Nice, nice, nice.

So you may be wondering what ever did become of our young man and his spending habits.

When he first started all of his credit cards were overdrawn.  He was also overdrawn on his personal checking account.  His phone plan was about to be disconnected for non-payment and the car that he had just purchased a few months prior was in danger of being repossessed.

In addition to this, he had gotten in a pattern of borrowing from short-term loan businesses at very high interest rates.  And, he had turned over several of his prized possessions to a local pawnbroker, which then incurred more debt.

In short, he was not in a good starting place.

But, he was in a stable and enviable job position where he was now earning almost twice the amount of money that he was earning just six months prior to our first session together. So getting out of this massive pile of debt wasn’t too difficult, once he had healed the energy of overspending.

In a matter of only a few months he had already paid down his credit cards so he was not being charged late payments and overage charges.  He was able to eliminate all negative balances on his checking account, and was even starting to save money after just a few more months.

He broke the habit of using short-term loan businesses and pawnbrokers, which greatly elevated his self-worth and self-esteem.  And, he quickly caught up with his phone and car payments.  Since these were his only real obligations, this eliminated much of the stress that he was carrying.

And, he no longer felt the need to use overspending to compensate for low self-worth and low self-esteem.

In short, he was now left in a very good, new starting place.

So now let me ask you.

Are you ready to begin releasing old hurts and issues that have been limiting your self-worth and self-esteem?

Are you ready to move beyond your past hurts, in order to have a life that you desire?

I believe that there are times when having another person help to guide you can really be a transformative experience.  This is the reason that I encourage everyone to reach out for help when it comes to resolving issues that are difficult or seemingly impossible to work through on your own.

And if you’d like to work with me I’m here to help. I offer both one-on-one private sessions as well as group healing sessions.

You can reach out to me through my Contact page and set up a time for us to work together.

Or sign up for my newsletter so you’ll know when new podcasts are released.

This has been Patrick Rodriguez reminding you to

Thanks for listening.