And my presenting problem is the sleep. I’d like it to take much less time just to fall back asleep. It’s very frustrating just lying in bed staring at the inside of my eyelids.
Hi, this is Patrick Rodriguez. And you’re listening to the Patrick Rodriguez Show.
This is the place to learn how to release your past, so that you can experience the fulfillment of your life by living in the present moment.
Today we’ll be listening to a recorded client session with a man that’s had insomnia for virtually his entire life. Within the recording he describes how he has no memory of ever being able to lie down and easily fall asleep.
By contrast, he describes having childhood memories of laying awake while other friends and family members would easily fall asleep while he was left wondering, What’s wrong with ME?
In this podcast episode I address an aspect of energy healing that might be different for people that have only experienced traditional talk therapy. At times, people often perceive the energy healing experience as the same as traditional talk therapy.
So I want to be clear, I am not a therapist. I am an energy healer. I’m not licensed to diagnose or treat any medical conditions. Rather, I look for the energy of the problem.
In the recording that follows, we find that the client’s insomnia appears to be linked to, the fear of feeling rejection. This is the energy thread that I am looking to untangle during the session.
To help understand this concept of untangling energy, let me use this analogy.
In your own home you may have a box or drawer filled with old cables and cords that are entangled with each other. In order to make use of a single cable you first need to “untangle” the cord from the others.
This is the metaphor that I use when working with energy. We first untangle the related energies so that we can have access to the parts of ourselves that we need for a given outcome. In this example, we are “untangling” the energy of rejection so that the client can fall asleep more easily and stay asleep.
During the session we find that this fear-of-rejection is also having an impact on his dating and social life. Make sure to listen to the end to hear the update that I received from this client after his session.
Please note that the following recording is from an actual client session and is being replayed here with permission. This recording deals with some emotionally intense themes and may trigger some listeners. I ask you to please use discretion and self-care while listening. And I invite you to reach out for help in the event that you do find yourself emotionally triggered.
And if you would be interested in having a complimentary energy healing session and be a guest on my podcast, please visit my website so we can set up a time to work together at, PatrickRodriguez.com
Now let’s listen in to see how healing the underlying emotional energy can have a very pragmatic outcome on the symptoms of insomnia, and in healing other parts of your life.
Patrick: So I wrote down what I think that we want to accomplish, you know, as much as we can in one session. It doesn’t have to be one session, of course, but to have the energetic freedom of sleeping through the night.
Does that sound about right to you?
Client: Yes, that sounds lovely.
Patrick: To have the energetic freedom of sleeping through the night.
To the best of your memory, has there ever been a time when you’ve been able to do exactly that?
Client: No.
Patrick: Okay. I’m going to focus on “The energetic freedom of sleeping through the night.” Is that okay?
Client: Yes.
Patrick: I’m going to ask the same question again.
Going back to early childhood, to the best of your memory, has there ever been a time when you’ve been able to sleep through the night?
Client: I don’t have many memories of when I was a child. I remember when I was around 10 that I couldn’t sleep. I was laying in bed. I was sleeping at my half-sister’s place.
I was 10 years old. I remember I went to bed and just laying there. I’m just wondering if that’s all I remember. I don’t remember falling asleep easily. I just remember that one instance of not, and even through high school.
All I have is memories. I don’t have any memory of falling asleep fast. Never. I have no memory, not even a vague memory of that ever having happened.
Patrick: I’m going to say three statements out loud. I’m going to then ask you to repeat the statements with me, and then we’re going to just evaluate which one feels more correct. Does that make sense?
Client: Yes.
Patrick: All right. First statement. It is not safe for me to fall asleep. Again, it is not safe for me to fall asleep.
Just feel the feelings. Next one. It is not safe for me to allow myself to let down my guard. It is not safe for me to allow myself to let down my guard.
Third statement. It is not safe for me to allow myself to fall asleep while I’m on duty. It is not safe for me to allow myself to fall asleep while I’m on duty.
Okay, let’s do those together.
Client: Okay.
Patrick: It is not safe for me to fall asleep.
Client: It is not safe for me to fall asleep. It is not safe for me to fall asleep.
Patrick: Just feel your feelings, physical and emotional.
Next one. It is not safe for me to allow myself to let down my guard.
Let’s do it together.
It is not safe for me…
Client: It is not safe for me…
Patrick: to allow myself…
Client: to allow myself…
Patrick: to let down my guard.
Client: to let down my guard.
Yeah, my legs are rocking back and forth and I’m feeling my torso tense up.
Patrick: Good, good, good, good.
Next one. It is not safe for me to allow myself to fall asleep while I’m on duty.
It is not safe for me…
Client: It is not safe for me…
Patrick: to allow myself to fall asleep…
Client: to allow myself to fall asleep…
Patrick: while I’m on duty.
Client: while I’m on duty.
No, that second one is still prominent.
Patrick: We’ll go with that one. Okay, so pretty easy to see. And, you know, it doesn’t take some genius psychic to figure this out that for you falling asleep isn’t a safe place.
You know, it’s not like rocking my baby. It’s a dangerous place. It’s not a dangerous place that you go to necessarily. It’s more like the physical is dangerous if I’m not on guard.
You with me on that? Doesn’t come from adult Ray. This comes from little kid Ray.
Give me a sec. We’re going to see about what age are we dealing with.
I’m feeling infancy.
Client: I agree.
Patrick: Yeah, it feels preverbal to me. All right. Give me just a sec. Let’s see if this still fits.
It is not safe for me… Okay, we’re going to add on. It’s interesting because we’re going to be addressing this through the perspective of sleep. But it’s not just sleep, is what I’m perceiving.
What I added on here is, “It is not safe for me to feel terrified to ever allow myself to let down my guard. It is not safe for me to feel terrified to ever allow myself to let down my guard.”
Client: That’s activating.
Patrick: Good. So we’re going to let that spin just a little bit, not too too much, just a little bit, because we really want to get to that deeper part of you. Good.
Now, one of the things that we know from what you know consciously is you were adopted at a very young age.
Client: That’s correct.
Patrick: You don’t know anything about your life prior to your adoption other than it wasn’t a safe place for you.
Your mother wanted you to go to a good home. That’s it. That’s all you know, right?
Client: That’s been validated by other people.
Patrick: Right. And so we just want to take that at face value for now.
That this infant, this pre-verbal infant, it was a scary time for him. That’s it.
It’s all we need to know was just a scary time.
Client: Yeah, I’m starting to pick my fingers here. We’ve really hit our gold vein.
Patrick: Yeah, yeah. It sounds like, you know, this is a paydirt type of thing.
Client: Yes.
Patrick: We just want to allow that to come up, that infant little boy, that teeny tiny little boy. It was so terrifying. Even as an adult, he can’t even allow himself to feel that terror.
And that’s okay. That’s okay. You and I want to be there for him, with him together. You and I together want to be there with him, for him.
And we’re not saying, “Hey, little Ray, we got you.” Because then he’s like like, “Big deal.”
What we want to do is to say, “I got you. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to be terrified.”
There you go. Much better. We want that little guy to feel safe, to feel terrified.
And we don’t consciously know, and it’s not important, we’re not asking you to relive any trauma. The only thing we care about is that little boy not hold on to the trauma, not hold on to the terror.
The easy way to do that is we take your current day feelings, because there’s still a lot of terror there.
You know, we see that by not wanting to go to sleep. It’s safe to feel the terror. And at that time in your life, it was not safe. The physical reality deemed it. It was not safe.
You and I together are telling this little boy, “It’s safe to feel afraid.” Good.
I’m feeling that the label of terror is already dropping enough to where it’s kind of borderline terror versus fear.
Does that match what you’re feeling?
Client: I’m just feeling a physical sensation, somatic, not…
Patrick: I’m going to say it out loud again. Just take it in.
It is not safe for me to feel terrified, to ever allow myself to let down my guard.
We want to make it safe for that infant to feel terrified.
It is not safe for me to feel terrified, to ever allow myself to let down my guard.
Doing great, doing great.
We’re going to go for a little stretch. I’m going to ask you to do it with me.
It is not safe for me…
Client: It is not safe for me…
Patrick: to feel terrified…
Client: to feel terrified…
Patrick: to ever allow myself…
Client: to ever allow myself…
Patrick: to let down my guard.
Client: to let down my guard.
Patrick: There you go. And the physical reality of the little boy, the little infant at that time, his physical reality, it wasn’t safe.
Client: It wasn’t.
Patrick: And the fact that you’re in a very safe home in a safe environment. I mean, come on, place by the beach. It doesn’t mean that he has to feel safe yet. We’re getting there. His emotional reality is not based on your present physical reality.
Client: Right.
Patrick: His emotional reality is based on his then physical reality. We’re just letting him know it’s okay to feel your feelings. I got you. I’m not going to let you go. I’m not ever going anywhere. I’m here for you. Much better.
Let’s do that again. It is not safe for me…
Client: It is not safe for me…
Patrick: to feel terrified…
Client: to feel terrified…
Patrick: to ever allow myself…
Client: to ever allow myself…
Patrick: to let down my guard.
Client: to let down my guard.
Patrick: Good. What we’re going to do now is we’re just going to take a sidestep to your dating life. How’s the dating life going?
Client: There was nothing happening.
Patrick: Nothing happening. Okay, when you say, “nothing happening,” does that mean you’re not initiating contact?
Client: There was somebody a few months ago but that fizzled out. It just never became anything.
Patrick: Okay. What we’re going to do right now is I’m going to ask you, in a moment, not yet, in a moment, I’m going to ask you to imagine reaching out to someone.
And then when you think about reaching out, we’re going to notice your bodily reaction. And then we’re going to do a compare and contrast to the feelings of needing to put the guards up.
Are you with me on that?
Client: Yes.
Patrick: I’m going to ask you to go ahead and think about someone you’ve thought to reach out to, to make contact. And as you think about this person, tell me when you have someone in mind.
Client: A couple of days ago, there was somebody who posted in one of the singles Facebook groups that I’m a member of. And I visited the profile and was an attractive woman, but I don’t remember the name. I was just visiting the profile.
Patrick: That’s it right there. Can you feel the feelings?
And now we’re going to introduce, for the purpose of compare and contrast, the infant Ray needing to have his guards up.
Client: Okay.
Patrick: I want you to go back and forth feeling this, needing to have my guards up today. Like, “I got to be careful what I say and how I say,” it to this woman, this picture, and then the feelings of the infant.
Just feel your current feelings as you think about infant Ray and go back and forth a couple of times.
And tell me if you can notice the similarities and the differences, if any.
Client: The word rejection just came up because as an infant, I was rejected. And when I went looking at the person’s, the woman’s profile, I could have messaged, but I didn’t. I did nothing. Rejection.
That’s the common thread between both sides.
Patrick: Good, good, good. So the long term effect from the infant was I’m going to protect myself from rejection. I have to keep my guards up from rejection. Now we’re going to do something very similar.
We’re going to go back to that same person’s profile picture, those same feelings of I need to protect myself from rejection. And then I’m going to ask you this time to compare the feeling of falling asleep.
Does that make sense when I’m asking? So I’m going to ask you to imagine yourself in bed, almost like trying to fall asleep. But I don’t get the sense that you try to fall asleep. I get the sense that you kind of wait it out.
Is that about right?
Client: Yeah, absolutely. I just would wait for it to happen. The thing I do is I’ll keep my thoughts peaceful while I’m waiting because I have to do something with my mind. Otherwise, it would drive me insane.
Patrick: Absolutely. And we’ll go into some of the suggestions later towards the end. Right now we just want to work on the energy.
So imagine just waiting for sleep to come. Now let’s bring up the image of visiting this woman’s profile picture and then the need to protect myself from rejection.
And then let’s bring up the image and the feeling of waiting to fall asleep. And let’s see if there’s… we’ll just do a compare and contrast. And we’re looking for similarities and differences, if any exist.
Client: As I try to look for the common denominator between both scenes is that I feel not only abandoned and alone when I’m in bed trying to sleep, just alone with nobody to take care of me.
And the message, if I reach out, then I’m alone with nobody to protect me from possible rejection. But that’s the only common link that came up.
Patrick: OK, I’m going to help you out here. So we’re going to go back to just being at home and feeling safe, but feeling alone, feeling safe, but feeling alone. The thought of all this freedom.
I’m not feeling panicky, but I do find that the desire to go out the front door causes my breathing to go high.
Client: My breathing is high and my legs have started to bounce back and forth, which is a clue that I’m feeling more anxious.
Patrick: Exactly, exactly. Now, let’s just wipe the slate clean. So you’re working on some work project. So let’s just go to a neutral place, something that’s very neutral.
Good. Your breathing just shifted. Nice. Now we’re going to change it again.
Imagine being in bed, waiting for sleep to come. And it’s in that waiting for the sleep to come. I feel your breathing go high in the same place.
Client: Yes. And my ears, I just realized my ears want to hear. They’re more attentive. They want to hear if anything’s happening.
Patrick: Will I be rejected? Because I want to stay away from anywhere where I will come even close to feeling rejected.
Client: And safety.
Patrick: It is looking for safety. But what I’m perceiving is specifically safety from rejection. Does that match?
Client: We’re talking about the moment being in bed or contacting someone online?
Patrick: Both.
Client: Both?
Patrick: That’s what I’m feeling is the kind of common thread.
Client: Oh, yes. That’s the common thread between both of them.
It’s not the only ones, but it’s the common one. I understand.
Patrick: All right. Tell me if that matches.
Client: Yes, that’s the common thread between both of those scenarios.
Patrick: Now, let’s look at walking out the front door. The desire to go hiking, the desire to interact with people. But you first have to get out the front door. Oh, shit.
Client: Yeah.
Patrick: We want to, again, make it safe to feel afraid. Safe to feel afraid.
Okay, I’m going to write out another statement to see if we can get a little deeper into this. And again, these statements just help us.
If it’s a statement that resonates with what’s going on inside, it’ll help bring that inside feeling out to your present consciousness. That’s the reason that we do these statements.
It is not safe for me to feel terrified to ever allow myself to ever be in a place to feel rejected.
And what I’m perceiving is when you fall asleep, once you get past that threshold, you know, we can call it, you know, what Carl Jung talked about, the collective unconscious, collective consciousness, which many people call the unconscious, where we’re all connected, right?
It’s like, okay, I’m tapping into the internet homeroom, if you will, or the 1930s chat line where everyone had connected phone lines.
But where you’re connected, once you pass that threshold asleep, I don’t want to get there. And I don’t want to get there because there’s too much of a possibility to feel rejected. Let’s try it out loud and see what happens.
It is not safe for me…
Client: It is not safe for me…
Patrick: to feel terrified…
Client: to feel terrified…
Patrick: to ever allow myself…
Client: to ever allow myself…
Patrick: to ever be in a place to feel rejected.
Client: to ever be in a place to feel rejected.
Patrick: It is not safe for me…
Client: It is not safe for me…
Patrick: to feel terrified…
Client: to feel terrified…
Patrick: to ever allow myself…
Client: to ever allow myself…
Patrick: to ever be in a place to feel rejected.
Client: to ever be in a place to feel rejected.
Right. Yes.
Patrick: Even more air coming in. This is good. This is good.
And again, what I’m feeling pretty strongly now is that the dream place is a place that allows us to feel connected. But to you, that opportunity to connect is the opportunity to feel rejected. No, thanks.
Take your physical reality today. One of the things that you’ve shared in the past is sometimes it can be a little hard getting out that front door. But once you’re out that front door, you’ve told me you’re very interactive.
Like when you go to the restaurant and you’re interactive with the waitress or at the gym, you don’t necessarily are not the one to initiate conversation, but you’re very comfortable carrying a conversation. Right?
Client: Yes.
Patrick: So I just want you just to reflect on the current reality in comparison to the dream reality.
It’s not about what happens once you’re at the restaurant. It’s about getting out the front door, as I’m perceiving.
And that’s very similar to sleep and dreams.
Client: Yes, because my locked front door guarantees safety. Once I’m out the door, I’m at the whim of whoever is walking around.
Patrick: Rejection. And rejection is dangerous.
Client: Yes.
Patrick: There you go. Good, good, good, good, good.
So we’re not, just for you, we’re not just dealing with insomnia because people like to label things, right? Insomnia. How do we get rid of insomnia?
Well, for you, what we need to do is realize the world isn’t the same unsafe place that it was for the infant Ray.
And it was. It truly was. It was a dangerous place for the infant Ray. It’s no longer dangerous for the adult Ray.
He has some really good things going for him.
Client: It’s a beautiful life, but no, it’s a great life. I love living out here.
Baby Ray would be happy if you could really feel how safe it is.
Patrick: And that’s what we’re doing. That’s what we’re doing. We’re making it safe for him to feel afraid so he doesn’t keep it locked in anymore.
Making it safe for him to feel afraid so he doesn’t have to keep it locked in. Okay. I felt a full breath. Does that match?
Client: Yep. I had to finish that full breath to answer. Yep.
Patrick: Very cool. Very cool.
Let’s do that one more time again out loud.
It is not safe for me…
Client: It is not safe for me…
Patrick: to feel terrified…
Client: to feel terrified…
Patrick: to ever allow myself…
Client: to ever allow myself…
Patrick: to ever be in a place to feel rejected.
Client: to ever be in a place to feel rejected.
Patrick: Beautiful. I’m going to invite you to imagine lying in bed.
And on a normal day to day to day, it’s waiting to fall asleep.
Let’s see if there’s any kind of a shift.
And it’s okay if there’s not. We’re just noticing. We’re just observing.
Client: Like a tingling in my mind, in my brain. Tingling sensation. Not unpleasant at all. As I just think of laying in bed, I just thought, It is safe.
And then that feeling occurred.
Patrick: Now, I want you to observe. Is there still this feeling like, I need to keep my guards up? I can’t allow my guards to ever go down.
Because that’s a key distinction that I’m perceiving. I want to see how you feel.
Client: It absolutely is. It was a significant component. What’s coming up is my mind wants to start chattering. As if it just wants to remind me of stuff that happened in the past. And I should worry about this and that. Oh, is it playing interference? That’s what happened when I took a deep breath and imagine I’m laying in bed. My mind wanted to start being busy.
Patrick: Good. I want you to say to yourself, it’s safe to feel afraid. It’s safe to feel afraid.
Client: Safe to feel afraid. Safe to feel afraid. Now my legs are rocking back and forth like crazy. Which is a sign of high anxiety.
Patrick: Beautiful. Good, good, good. Good.
That’s what we want to come to the table. It’s safe to feel afraid.
Because what we’re seeing is this may have originated with pre-verbal infant Ray. But other stuff has happened since then too. Not all of it pleasant. And what I’m feeling, and you have to tell me, does this feel right to you?
Is that infant, that pre-verbal ray, he’s starting to be okay. And because he’s starting to be okay, the other stuff is becoming louder. Tell me if that resonates for you.
Client: I didn’t notice that. But now that you mention it, it could be.
Patrick: Now let me bring to your attention that when you were mentioning this at the start, the feeling I was getting, it was very pre-verbal.
Now when you just mentioned it, there was a lot of chatter. In other words, it was the verbal stage throughout your life. Tell me if that resonates.
Client: It could be. I just assumed it was my brain trying to sabotage sleep. Because on behalf of those that were scared of sleep, but it could be.
Patrick: Oh yeah, we only have one brain. It’s not like we’re multiple people and at the same time, we kind of are. We’re at different stages of our development.
So let’s target that 8 to 10-year-old Ray, 8 to 10-year-old little boy. I’m feeling a lot of stuff was going on at that age, 8 to 10 years old.
Same thing. It’s safe to feel afraid. I got you. I’m never going to let you go.
I’m never going to abandon you. I can tell you with 100% certainty, I will always be there for you.
You didn’t have an easy time of it. There was a lot going on. He knew he was loved and he knew he was taken care of intellectually, not necessarily emotionally.
Client: Yes.
Patrick: You with me? We want to let him know that you, adult Ray, are always there for him, unquestioningly.
Client: Do I even know how to be there?
Patrick: You are there. It’s impossible to separate you from the little boy.
Client: But am I meeting his needs?, I mean.
Patrick: You’re doing the best you can and we know that you are because you open up the windows. You don’t stay in the dark 100% of the time.
Client: Right.
Patrick: You eat foods that are fun to eat on occasion. You get what I’m saying? You are there for him. You are there.
You’ve been there and you will always be there for him. And it’s safe for him to feel like no one will be there. It’s okay that he feels that way.
It doesn’t mean you’re going anywhere. That feels a little more, not just a little, it feels significantly more settled.
How does that feel to you?
Client: Oh, my legs aren’t moving. My fingers aren’t, my hands aren’t agitated. So there you go.
Patrick: Beautiful.
Client: My legs have been moving often throughout the session, especially when you’re having your feet repeat phrases.
Patrick: Okay, good. Let’s go back to that phrase.
It is not safe for me…
Client: It is not safe for me…
Patrick: to feel terrified…
Client: to feel terrified…
Patrick: to ever allow myself…
Client: to ever allow myself…
Patrick: to ever be in a place to feel rejected.
Client: to ever be in a place to feel rejected.
Patrick: I don’t want to say it feels completely flat. It doesn’t seem to send you in a spiral. Does that match?
Client: It matches and physically I’m calm. My legs aren’t bouncing back and forth.
Patrick: Beautiful.
Client: My hands are just on the desk.
Patrick: All right. One more time. I’m going to ask you to go through, in your mind, to go through that bedtime routine. Brushing my teeth. Good hygiene. Getting ready. Laying down.
And let’s just observe what happened.
Client: Whereas before when I did this exercise, my mind kind of started to want to do the chattering. I’m very familiar with that. That happens all the time.
However, right now, this time, it’s like my mind’s waiting. It’s not used to just waiting. Like, what will I do? My mind doesn’t have all these thoughts. What am I going to do? Yeah.
The ultimate test will be tonight. But this little exercise is showing me some good stuff.
Patrick: And this doesn’t, it doesn’t have to be a one and done. I don’t expect necessarily, I would love it, you know, you email, call me and say, “Hey, I’m sleeping through the night.”
But I don’t expect that’s going to necessarily, absolutely count on it. Take it to the bank.
I am saying it is possible to address this continuing because right now we got to the fear of rejection, which I would imagine will not only affect your sleeping, but quite possibly affect your dating life. Affect getting out the front door.
So I don’t want you to think one and done, but advancing along the path. Fantastic.
I’ll mention here that I have a unique ability to feel the feelings and emotions of people when they give me permission to do so.
In working with clients I’ll often simply act as a mirror that then allows them to see the reflection of their own underlying thoughts and feelings that they don’t normally allow themselves to see.
I’ll then write out a statement or a phrase to match what I’m feeling, and then ask them to repeat the phrase. This allows the person to evaluate their own feelings, internally.
It is this objective understanding that then begins the healing process to happen.
This approach is not a magic pill. I ask people to not expect that all of their problems in life to be solved in a single one-hour session. However, I have found that this approach does produce amazing results for people.
During my follow up call with this client, he found that he was able to get to sleep faster and more consistently then before. He also found that he was sleeping more soundly throughout the night.
And the added bonus from this session was that he shared with me that he had been on an online singles group for his local area for the past two years. He had engaged in discussions in the group, but he had never posted any personal profile information.
In other words, this fear of rejection was also manifesting in his dating life. As a result of this session he now felt comfortable updating his profile, and has the potential to improve his dating life.
So now let me ask you.
Are you ready to move beyond the limitations of your past?
Are you ready to begin releasing the blocks that have been keeping you from fully experiencing your life?
I believe that there are times when having another person help to guide you can really be a transformative experience. This is the reason that I encourage everyone to reach out for help when it comes to resolving issues that are difficult or seemingly impossible to work through on your own.
And if you’d like to work with me I’m here to help. I offer both one-on-one private sessions and group healing sessions. I also offer complimentary sessions to podcast guests.
You can reach out to me through my website, PatrickRodriguez.com and set up a time for us to work together.
Or sign up for my newsletter so you’ll know when new podcasts are released.
This has been Patrick Rodriguez reminding you, to Release your past, so that you can experience the fulfillment of your life by living in the Present Moment.
Thanks for listening.