My question for you today is, do you find it difficult to make decisions? Do you find yourself often procrastinating making even relatively minor decisions?
Today we’re going to be talking about decision-making strategies for procrastinators.
Understanding the Link between Procrastination and Indecision
The first thing that we need to talk about, is that you are not alone. Most people will feel at least some anxiousness when making major life decisions.
And on the other side of the scale we have people that will completely freeze up when making even the smallest decisions, like ordering from a menu when dining out.
These people often find themselves ordering the same choices every time, but not because that is what they want. Rather, it is to avoid having to make the decision of what they want.
People that procrastinate making decisions will often feel the energy of “Threat”. To these people, just being in a position to make a decision feels like a confrontation and can even feel threatening.
This can go beyond the fear of making a bad decision. It is the fear of having to make any decision. In this light, we can see that procrastination isn’t a completely illogical response.
Overcoming Fear and Doubt
Most of us have experienced indecision at some point in our lives. But when it comes to procrastinators, the indecision is often rooted in the energy of fear or self-doubt.
Many people will even recognize that they have fear about making decisions but they still can’t get past the fear in order to make the decision. They then become stuck in indecision.
Where Does the Fear of Decisions Come From?
When I work with people that have trouble making decisions, I will look at the underlying energy of the fear. It’s usually easy to see that the fear is not of what they are facing in the present moment. The fear often originates from childhood conditioning.
At a time when we are at our most vulnerable, many of us were disciplined for taking actions that we thought were harmless, or at least a good idea at the time. This is just part of growing up.
We run, play, scream, laugh and we cry. But to our stressed out parents, the actions of a child can all add up to seem like a massive invasion to their sanity.
One of the first words that children learn is the word, “No”. That learning comes from the toddler repeatedly hearing mommy and daddy say, or even scream the word throughout their early life. “No, no, no! Don’t do that. Put that down. Stop that.”
For many children the conditioned response to making decisions is that, “Everything that I do is wrong. It is not safe to make decisions.”
It was not the intent of the parents that their child would grow up to live in fear and indecision. Rather, it was the parents intent to just keep the child safe by telling them, no. And by telling the child what not to do.
But it’s the interpretation of the child that gets locked in and is still being replayed that then causes the now-adult to procrastinate making decisions.
Releasing Past Programming for Confident Decision-Making
So the question becomes, how do we let go of our past programming from childhood so that we can become confident in making decisions?
Once someone has recognized that their childhood programming has led them to this state of indecision, we then switch to working with the energy of compassion for the Inner Child.
I believe that all of us need to have compassion and empathy for the part of ourselves that was just trying to figure stuff out as we were growing up. And that part of ourselves was doing the best that they could as a young child.
I find it to be useful to imagine speaking to a younger version of yourself to let him/her know that it is okay to feel scared to make decisions. At that age we are just trying to get by, and for many of us we just wanted to not get mommy or daddy upset. So as the adult in this interaction, please be kind to this young inner child.
Reaching Out for Help with Fear and Procrastination
There are many ways to work with yourself to heal the inner child from procrastination. Meditation, prayer and journaling are among the top recommendations for healing your past.
But for those of us that did not have an easy childhood, or that may be stuck in indecision, it can be very useful to have someone to work with to point out the understanding and compassion needed for the inner child.
So now let me turn this around and ask you,
Has procrastination been holding you back in your life?
Are you ready to move past procrastination and start becoming more confident in your decision-making and taking action in your life?
I believe that you can become more confident in making decisions, which can then lead to feeling confident in taking action. And this can absolutely lead to a happier and more fulfilling life.
And if you’d like to work one-on-one with me, I’m here to help. You can reach out to me through my Contact page and set up a time for us to work together or sign up for my newsletter below so you’ll know when new podcasts are released.